This incident never seems to fade away from my memory. It was one of my earliest days in the new country where I had recently moved. A family member of my husband came over to our place. He greeted me with a quick “Hi, how are you?” but didn’t even wait for my response. In the blink of an eye, he had moved on, clearly preoccupied with something else. It wasn’t intentional; he was busy looking for something, and I happened to be in his way. The question was merely a formality—a reflexive pleasantry.
Yet, this moment made a deep impression on me. It led me to reflect on how we live in such a fast-paced world, where we are conditioned to ask default formalities like “Hi, how are you?” without genuinely caring about the answer. But is this question truly coming from our hearts, with the intention of making a meaningful connection in the other person’s world? Or has it become another mechanical habit, void of sincerity?
The Bible teaches us a profound truth about our nature and intentions: “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7, NIV). While we may focus on external presentations and appearances, God is concerned with the authenticity and posture of our hearts.
As followers of Christ, we are called to emulate His example in every aspect of our lives, including how we interact with others. Jesus was the ultimate model of attentiveness and compassion. He listened deeply to those who came to Him, whether it was a blind beggar crying out for mercy (Mark 10:46-52), a Samaritan woman seeking truth (John 4:7-26), or a disciple struggling with doubt (John 20:24-29). He didn’t just hear their words; He understood their hearts and responded with grace and love.
This incident reminded me of the importance of developing a habit of listening ears. When Christ lends His ears to our cries and fears, how much more should we, as His followers, lend our ears to those around us? A simple “How are you?” can become a profound act of kindness if we ask it with genuine care and attentiveness.
James 1:19 exhorts us, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Listening is not just a skill but an act of love that reflects the character of Christ. It requires us to slow down, set aside our distractions, and be fully present for the person before us.
As I reflect on this experience, I am reminded that small, seemingly insignificant interactions can reveal much about the state of our hearts. Are we prioritizing the needs of others, or are we caught up in our own agendas? Let us strive to follow the example of Christ, who always made time to listen, even in the midst of His busy ministry.
Let us challenge ourselves to move beyond mere formalities in our interactions. The next time we ask someone, “How are you?” let us pause and truly listen. We might be surprised by how much of a difference it makes in someone’s day—and in our own hearts. After all, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (Proverbs 17:17, NIV).
May we grow in love, compassion, and attentiveness, reflecting the heart of Christ in every word and action. In doing so, we not only bless others but also honor the One who calls us to love as He has loved us (John 13:34-35).